42??

It’s been quite some time since I’ve had a proper rant, and now that the wedding is over and I have a bit more spare time I thought I’d take the chance to dump some more thoughts about something we all want to know about … stuff!!

Today’s stuff regards issues around work-life balance and what makes me happy doing what I do for a living. It’s a bit of a broad topic, but one that I consider to be pretty damned important. I think about this fairly regularly, as lots of people probably do themselves, but I use it as a means to frequently ask myself important questions about life, and what it is I want to do with it.

Regardless of what angle I view this from, it generally revolves my job - after all, this is what consumes most of my time. It’s amazing how much your work can affect your daily life. In my case, it has quite a profound affect because what I do for a living is also something that I enjoy doing in my spare time (depending on the exact nature of the current job of course). So I’ll start by talking about my job …

Most of you know by now that I’m a geek; a software nerd; a programmer; a developer; a coder; or whatever term it is you want to use. I prefer to say Software Engineer / Developer as it suggests more than just the production of code. My working life is spent in front of a computer screen, which can be very fulfilling and extremely frustrating at the same time. I’ve been contracting for a few years, and I am currently involved in a development project using C# and ASP.NET. My current work situation is partly responsible for the purpose of this post, as it’s currently the cause of me asking myself those “questions” a heck of a lot more than any of my previous jobs have. Though it wasn’t originally intended to be so, I am now effectively working on-site as a development contractor for the client that I’m dealing with, and I’ve been thrown into a team of individuals who are responsible for the delivery of a certain web-based application. OK, not what was intended to start off with, but hey, I’m a developer and I’ll do whatever needs to be done.

During the course of time here I’ve seen what I believe to be almost every possible fubar and snafu possible in the software development world - and these issues have a profound effect on my productivity (more on this in a moment). The effect on my productivity cascades down to my overall satisfaction that I get out of doing what I do. I personally feel the need to achieve something every day. While this might not be possible 100% of the time, it should be possible 99% of the time, and if it’s not, then I start to feel like I’m not meeting my goals and I start feeling a bit disgruntled. When the reason for the effect on my productivity isn’t due to my own shortcomings, I get even more frustrated.

In short, I’m saying that when people are stupid or incompetent (resulting in poor work which I then have to maintain, fix or carry), or they have authority which they use to enforce decisions on people that aren’t thought out, I tend to get narked. I feel that my time at work isn’t what it should be, and it’s not how I like to feel.

I like to believe that I have a strong work ethic. I love working hard and feeling like I have managed to produce some form of value or tangible asset. When I can’t do that, it goes against my grain, and I start to feel that I should look elsewhere to find an opportunity which would let me do what I want to do.

While conducting myself in this manner is extremely important to me, it can be affected a fair bit by the people I work with. In the past I’ve worked with some unbelievably stupid people, and I’ve worked with guys that are amazingly smart and driven. Needless to say, I much prefer the latter. Right now, I’m with the former.

I don’t see smart and productive people as a threat, I see them as an opportunity. That is, an opportunity to learn, and an opportunity to produce something even better than what I would have produced by myself. If I find someone who is as good if not better than me during the course of a job or project, then I’ll do my best to get as much out of them as I can, be supportive to that person to allow them to do their job to their best ability and allow both of us to enjoy what we do.

In the past, there have been two teams I’ve been part of which allowed this to happen (due to having the right people in the right spots): the game development crew (you know who you are) and the “initial” team of contractors working with me in London on an insurance broking application (before we were hamstrung by management). The days were not just fulfilling, but they were good fun, educational and very productive. THAT is what I need out of my job. When I get that, I find myself going home with a smile on my face and a bit more of a zest for life. I don’t feel let down, and I don’t feel like I need to spend the rest of the night in front of my compiler trying to make up for the lack of productivity at work.

I also feel the need to deliver. I like to see an application all the way through to its delivery. The feeling I got when I shipped my first game title was one of complete euphoria and satisfaction. It really was amazing. I want to feel that again. I admit it’s easier to feel that in a game development role because you actually have a shipping date - which generally means closure of some sort. In the standard world of I.T., you do have shipping dates, but the support, updates, new features, etc, kick in straight away, and you don’t necessarily feel like the application is finished (well, I don’t :)). Having said that, I have worked on some systems outside of games where major milestones have given me the buzz that I was looking for.

One of my smaller goals in the work area is to know that my software is being used, and that those people who are using it are getting exactly what they are looking for when they use it. In the case of business users, I hope that they are utilising my software / technology to its fullest, and getting a lot of value out of it. I hope that they’re improving their throughput, coverage, or whatever as they get more and more familiar with it. As a game developer, I like the idea of my software appearing on potentially millions of machines around the world. I like the idea of people of all ages immersing themselves into an exciting world that I helped create. While I was in the U.K I walked past a game shop that had my game (by “my” I don’t literally mean me as a single person, but the game that I contributed to ;)) running on one of the demo stations. A kid was playing it and loving it, and the result was his mum buying him the game so he could play it at home. The happiness on that kids face was priceless, and it made me feel pretty damned good.

All of the above goals are personal and private, but there are others that affect me in a more professional way. I like to be given the chance to work with the latest technology, as it’s challenging and keeps me up to speed with the industry. I like to be able to “bank my CV” while I’m doing my work so that I can utilise that experience down the track to improve and produce better software for my clients. I’d like to think that as time goes by, I am always improving as an Engineer, as a Developer and as a professional.

Right, enough about the work stuff, you should have the idea by now. I do expect a fair bit from my job - please note that I haven’t focussed on the issue of payment. The reason? Payment is an issue regardless of the job you do, who you are, where you live, or what you get up to. There’s no point in discussing it, as I won’t really be adding anything that people don’t already think themselves. I will say this though - I do need to feel valued which is something that’s achieved through appreciation, and remuneration. There has to be a balance between the two.

So how can all this affect life in general? Well, with cash that’s easy, life can be hard if you can’t afford to live. ’nuff said. When it comes to the other stuff, it’s a bit more complicated. I find that I’m so passionate about what I do that I can be affected quite a bit by frustration at work. Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t make me any less professional, or any less keen, but it can be quite disheartening. I find that in times like this I go home not feeling on top of the world. I feel flat, and worn out, and find that I don’t want to do much other than relax and unwind. When I get home in this state, I reconsider my options, and try to weigh up the pros and cons of staying where I am.

Of late, I’ve done this 4 days out of 5 - a pretty alarming ratio! It’s got to the point where I’ve even considered changing career paths altogether. Realistically, I won’t do that I love producing software too much to not have it as part of my life. But the fact that I’ve even entertained the idea is quite concerning for me.

So, it’s time now for me to move onto something else. Something challenging, something exciting, something that’s going to make me feel like I’m producing. I want to work with smart people who are striving to achieve the same things as me. I want to work with ego-less programmers, I want to find passion and a good work ethic in my colleagues, and I want to feel like I’m adding value. There’s a project out there somewhere for me, I just need to go find it. When that happens, everything else will slip into place.

So what is it I want out of life? I’ve covered the work thing - this time, it’s personal!

I am a very happy man at home. As you know I recently married my girl of 6 years, and I couldn’t be happier. The next thing I want to nail is buying our own home. This is by no means a small thing! It’s very daunting to consider taking on loans of around the $1/2 million - especially when it’s pumped straight into something like property which can be unpredictable. I know almost nothing about the property market, but I know enough to know that I don’t know enough! That’s something that I need to sort out. Then I need to know where’s good and bad, what’s good and bad, and whether or not now is the time to buy.

I’m hoping that by mid ‘07 we’ll have moved into our own place. I can’t wait to deck it a house the way I want to without the constraints of being in someone else’s house (eg. sticking a picture on the wall isn’t that simple!). I’m looking forward to being able to stick a hole in the wall if I want to, CAT5 the house if I want to, knock down a wall or build an extension if I want to (and no doubt Amy’s keen to have a garden so that she can actually put her plants in the ground rather than in pots!).

Finally (and this may scare some of you), I am looking forward to being a Dad. To answer those who have already asked, and to preempt those who haven’t yet asked, I DO NOT KNOW when that’s going to happen When it happens, I’ll tell you.

There you have it. Sorry if this rant was a little “all over the place”. It doesn’t really have a comfortable flow, but right now I can’t be arsed to fix it

So what about you? What’s next for you? What do you currently want or expect out of life?